Boys Do Cry

Two years ago I started an LGBTQIA+ news-editorial platform called sidewalkkilla.com where I wanted to tell human stories that anyone can relate to regardless of age, race, orientation, or gender identity. The stories that I have been working on highlight the lives of people that are usually overlooked by mainstream media, but that do have a unique perspective and the vision of how to make the world better in their own way. The question that drives all of my work is: What if you were born someone else? For my newest project, I want to explore why masculinity and vulnerability are considered mutually exclusive within our society. I would like to take portraits of several men of different races, ages, and sexualities and ask them to cry on camera. Each session would be followed up with a few questions about their upbringing and their relationship with crying. Growing up in Kazakhstan, with a very strict father, I've always been taught not to show my emotions or vulnerability and always stay strong. I've also received very little affection from him, which now, in the middle 30s, I find myself struggling with how to be affectionate and sympathetic to the people I love. I strongly believe that by holding in our emotions, we may project fear and destruction not only on ourselves but on the people around us as well. I am hoping to hold those conversations with the men I get to photograph and show them that the simple act of crying can be healing and cathartic.